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I had my son at 39 years old and was quite the adventurer up til then - so much so it didn’t look like I was ever going to be a mum. I got bored staying home doing the same thing daily and constantly craved new challenges and opportunities.

Every winter I took a month off & went to Goa, Bali, Thailand, Mexico… wherever the calling was! Ibiza 15 times. Burning Man 3 times.

Partied all summer and then went to zen retreats in the winter. My version of balance!

I would have described myself as a ‘festival fairy’, travelling to music festivals all over the world. I kind of always just assumed I would eventually have kids at the right time… then suddenly years went past & I was 37, childless and meeting all types of child-fearing men! It was seriously looking like it was not going to happen naturally. Part of me accepted it and part of me loathed it.

Not long after, I was on a month long party trip in Mexico, and a friend of mine said she was taking some time out to visit a shaman in the jungle & take ayahuasca. I had some limited experience of the plant up until that point, but I had burning questions I wanted answering so was curious to delve deeper. I was starting to tire of the sex-drugs-house music vibes that I was fully engulfed in and wandered what life was like beyond that. I hoped mother ayahuasca would be able to enlighten me somewhat. I had my experience (which was beautiful; a mini ego-death, which involved travelling out into the stratosphere and seeing billions of stars and realising we are all just a tiny speck of light) and realised I was going in circles with my little existence and I needed to break free of my norms and up the challenge! Hence ‘Mama Nat’ was born (in spirit at that time).

I flew back from Mexico & immediately booked an appointment at a private clinic for a health MOT and to check the state of my eggs. I gathered all the information and decided to make it my mission to online date for a life partner / baby daddy while I went through the process of harvesting my eggs, with the end goal either to buy sperm, have a willing donor or even a full-on family by the end of the process.

As time went on I became quite depressed, as I kept meeting guys who had no interest in anything more than a few nights of fun. So, I proceeded to inject hormones into my belly and chose my sperm with a date to create my baby! However, last minute I just couldn’t go through with it. I was literally heartbroken as I never pictured my family to be a lab-made child with an unknown father.

I hasten to add that I think single parents are my hero’s - I have so much respect for them and having got to the point where it seemed this was my only option, of course, I was grateful for it - everyone should have the choice to create a child. However, I felt so alone and disappointed in the world that I was going through this without a partner and couldn’t come to terms with the thought that neither myself or my child would ever know their biological father.

Would this child feel like half a stranger to me? Would they feel like mine? Would they grow up hating me? So many difficult questions I simply couldn’t answer.

I just couldn’t do it.

Instead, to buy time, I decided to freeze my eggs.

After freezing my eggs I felt a huge relief. I decided to take some time out from the baby journey and just relax and start enjoying my life again.

Then, 3 months later, I met Simon on the dance-floor of a bar! It was so natural & easy. During our first sleepover he asked me what was on my bucket list and I honestly said the only thing left on my list was to become a mum.

10 months later we consciously, and lovingly, made a baby together. We now share a loving family home with our son Neo who is two and a half!


I’m currently just enjoying my journey into parenthood, with the magic and wanders it brings! I literally feel blessed each day as if my dreams have come true. 

The universe hears! So I would say: make sure you ask it specifically for what you want… and nicely!

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